Grammar Girl here.
Today's topic is generic personal pronouns. Nolan in Victoria, British Columbia, asked the following question:
Just wondering about whether to use she or he in terms of giving examples. Since she was written out of the literature for many, many years, some authors have decided to use she exclusively to make their examples, whereas others maintain that he is the generic personal [pronoun] in the English language.
To be clear, the problem Nolan is talking about is that nobody really knows what pronoun to use anymore when talking about a person of unknown gender. Let's say you're writing a sentence that starts "When a student succeeds …" At this point there's enormous confusion about whether you should proceed with "he should thank his teacher," "she should thank her teacher," "he or she should thank his or her teacher," or something else.
Taryn from Evansville, David from New Jersey, and a listener named Gina also asked about this problem, and I think Betty summed it up best by saying, “He or she seems too awkward, he seems sexist, and one seems archaic.” I would add that exclusively using she also seems sexist, the hybrid s/he seems silly and awkward, and switching between he and she is downright confusing to readers. A listener named Bryan called switching between he and she “whiplash grammar,” which I loved. Then there's the solution that everyone loves to hate—using the personal pronoun they, which breaks the rule that you don't use a plural pronoun with a singular antecedent. Another Bryan from Nashville and a listener named Jimmy both wrote in after I used they with a singular antecedent in this way in episode 15. They wrote in to say that it's a cop-out.
Honestly, I don't think there is a perfect solution, and I've been avoiding the question because I know that no matter what I say I'm going to make someone angry. But then Ken from Denver wrote in literally* pleading for help. He had obviously spent a lot of time looking through the Chicago Manual of Style and had concluded that their answer is “My, that's a toughie. Try to avoid it.” I agree that an answer like that is unhelpful, so I decided to muster up some courage and try to do better.
First, some of you might disagree that using he is sexist; but even if you disagree, you should still at least consider the alternatives because all of the major style guides that I checked recommend against using he in a generic way. (I specifically checked MLA, APA, and Chicago, and I know I have seen it in others.)
When I am confronted with this problem, I first take the Chicago route and ask if there is any way to avoid the problem. Usually this involves simply making the original noun plural. You could say, "When students [plural] succeed, they should thank their teacher." Sometimes more extensive rewriting is required, and if necessary, I'll do it. I would rewrite a whole page if it meant I could avoid the problem.
Rewriting is almost always possible, but if it isn't, then you have to make a choice.
If I'm writing a formal document, I'll use he or she. For example, he or she accidentally knocked over a water bottle. Admittedly, it's a little awkward, but if you're already using formal language, I don't think it's too distracting. (This is also the solution recommended by The American Heritage College Dictionary.)
I will state for the record that I am a firm believer that someday they will be the acceptable choice for this situation. English currently lacks a word that fits the bill, and many people are already either mistakenly or purposefully using they as a singular generic personal pronoun; so it seems logical that rules will eventually move in that direction.
Nevertheless, it takes a bold, confident, and possibly reckless person to use they with a singular antecedent today. I could almost feel people's blood pressure rising as I started to imply that it is OK to use they.
The thing is, if you are a respected editor in charge of writing a style guide for your entire organization, you can get away with making it acceptable to use they with a singular antecedent. I would even encourage you to do so, and there are a variety of credible references that will back you up (1,2,3) including the Random House Dictionary and Fowler's Modern English Usage. You would be in the company of revered authors such as Jane Austen, Lewis Carroll, and Shakespeare. But, if you are responsible to superiors, there's a good chance that at least one of them will think you are careless or ignorant if you use