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“Myself”

Episode 174: June 12, 2009
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Grammar Girl here.

Today's topic is how to use the word “myself.”

But first, I have a fantastic audiobook to recommend to you at the end of today's show for your Audible free trial. Remember, the URL for the promotion is audiblepodcast.com/gg.

Misusing “myself” is definitely one of the top things people complain to me about. Here's an example:

The caller is right; people seem to be so afraid to use the words “me” and “I,” that they substitute “msyelf” in all kinds of inappropriate places.

“Me” Is the Object Pronoun

It's common to hear people say things like this: Please contact Squiggly, Aardvark, or myself with questions. Here's why that's wrong: the position of Squiggly, Aardvark, and the incorrect “myself” in the sentence is the object position, and “me” is the object pronoun you use to refer to yourself in a sentence like that.

An Easy Trick

The quick and dirty tip to get it right is to think about how you would say the sentence without Squiggly and Aardvark.

So here we go. You'd probably say, “Please contact me.”

I don't know why people mess it up more when there are multiple people in the sentence, but they do. It's not as if I've never heard anyone say, “Please contact myself,” but that kind of error is much more rare.

So once you know how to figure it out with just one person, you simply add in the other people: Please contact Squiggly, Aardvark, and me with questions. (We learned back in March in episode 163 that you always put yourself last in a list like that.)

“I” Is the Subject Pronoun

Is the rule any different when you're dealing with the subject of a sentence? No, but I hear errors like this all the time: Aardvark and myself will quench the fire.

That's wrong because Aardvark and the incorrect “myself” are in the subject position, and “I” is the subject pronoun you use to refer to yourself.

Again, try the one-person-limit test. The sentence is “I will quench the fire.” Once you have that, you can start adding in other people, again, keeping yourself last in the list: Aardvark and I will quench the fire.

“Myself” Is the Reflexive Pronoun

So by now you're probably asking when is it OK to use “myself”?

The word “myself” is what's called a reflexive pronoun. Think about looking in a mirror and seeing your reflection. You'd say, “I see myself in the mirror.” You see your reflection, and “myself” is a reflexive pronoun.

Other reflexive pronouns include “himself,” “herself,” “yourself,” “itself,” “themselves,” and so on.

You use reflexive pronouns to refer to the subject of a sentence again, later in the sentence. For example, you could say, “I see myself playing marimbas,” or, “I'm going to treat myself to a mud bath.” In both these cases you are the object of your own action; the subject is “I” and you use “myself” to refer back to that “I.”

If you're an astute listener, you will have noticed that “myself” is in the object position in the sentence “I see myself,” but I said earlier that “me” was the object pronoun.

Here's the rub. You use regular object pronouns when the subject and object are different, and the reflexive pronoun when they are the same. That's why it's right to say both “I saw him,” and “He saw himself.”

In “I saw him,” the subject and object are different people, so you use the object pronoun, “him.”

In “He saw himself,” the subject and object are the same person, so you use the reflexive pronoun, “himself.”

Again, it can help to remember the reflection analogy for reflexive pronouns. You have the real person (the subject) and the reflection (the object that is a reflexive pronoun).

“Myself Is Also a Intensive Pronoun

Reflexive pronouns can also be used to add emphasis to a sentence. (In case you care, then they're called intensive pronouns.) For example, if you had witnessed a murder, you could say, “I myself saw the madman's handiwork.” It's dramatic, but it's also grammatically correct.

If you want to emphasize how proud you are of your new artwork, you could say, “I painted it myself.” Again, “myself” just adds emphasis. The meaning of the sentence doesn't change if you take out the word “myself”; it just has a different feeling because now it lacks the added emphasis.

Summary

There you go! The quick and dirty tip is to think about how you would write the sentence if you were the only one in it, and then use that pronoun. For example, “Please contact me.” You can also remember that it's OK to use reflexive pronouns for emphasis and when the subject and object in the sentence are the same.

Audible

Yesterday I downloaded Neil Gaiman's audiobook The Graveyard Book from Audible, so I'd have something to recommend in today's show. It won best audiobook in the Audie Awards recently, so I figured it would be a winner, and wow, was it ever? Normally I listen to audiobooks to fall asleep, and last night I was fighting to stay awake so I could hear more. You've got to hear this:

<clip>

Isn't the reader great? I was doubly impressed when I realized the author is also the reader. Go, Neil Gaiman!

You can get The Graveyard Book as your free audiobook to keep, even if you cancel, if you sign up for a free trial at audiblepodcast.com/gg. My husband accidentally signed us up for a second account and then canceled it, and he said it was an easy process, so you don't need to worry about it being one of those things that's hard to get out of once you sign up. Although I think once you sign up you'll be as hooked as I am. That's audiblepodcast.com/gg.

Stitcher

Finally, if you want to get Grammar Girl and other great shows from Quick and Dirty Tips streamed to your iPhone, and now your BlackBerry too, try Stitcher free today at stitcher.com.

And if you listen at iTunes, don't forget to subscribe so you always get new episodes right away.

That's all. Thank for listening.

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akak
2/4/2010 11:54:01 AM

coollll

Nikki Tran
11/23/2009 2:24:08 PM

Myself Is Also a Intensive Pronoun

Above is wrong - an intensive pronoun. You can not use "a" before the i (vowel)

AC
11/18/2009 11:44:20 PM

This one is awesome. I just used the word "myself" a few hours ago and thought it was used incorrectly. So I thought I better check your podcast. I'm learning so much from you. Thanks!!

km9000
11/1/2009 7:25:43 AM

People in mass media are only contributing to the overuse of this butchering of "myself"... athletes, coaches, politicians, pundits, entertainers, etc etc... The most common usage seems to be in the "Tom, Dick, and myself" department. Unfortunately, I think it does tend to make them sound more intelligent to those who aren't aware of the rule. And there seems to be no end in sight.

song4mozart
9/5/2009 11:34:56 AM

Eek! I saw an error in my comment. *shudders* I was revising
"..but it's doing just the opposite" to "but it does just the opposite." and I forgot to edit the it's. I just wanted you to know I did catch that, but a little too late. :P

song4mozart
9/5/2009 11:29:30 AM

I hear the misuse of "myself" ALL the time. I'm an English teacher, and that (along with many other grammatical errors) drives me batty! I think people try to sound "smart" by using "myself", but it's does just the opposite.
On another note, have you noticed adverbs are rarely if ever used anymore? It's awful! Even our so-called educated people are eliminating them. Why is this so, and what can we do about it? I don't want the adverb to be obliterated from the English language. I know I sound a little overly-dramatic, but seriously, this is a prime example of how slang replaces the proper use of the English language!

Cindy
8/12/2009 11:52:09 PM

I'm new here, so I'm reading some past things. I think that Rob is quite correct when he says that people are using the wrong words when they are trying to sound smarter. People think that "I" & "myself" sound so much better than "me" that they are using them in so many wrong places! I have actually heard people say that the rule is the exact opposite of using what you would use if it were just the one person - saying that if "me is correct when it's just one, that "I" shuld be used when it's more than one. They just won't believe me when I tell them that they are wrong. If I could remember the grammatical rules, that would certainly help.

Rob
8/10/2009 8:42:53 AM

Hey Alexander, Thanks for your response. Of course English is Germanic in origin, but I'm not really sure how that bears on the point at hand. We're talking about over a thousand years since English started evolving independently, so the Modern German reflexivity of the word concentrate has no effect whatsoever on its usage in Modern English. In fact, as far as I can find, the word in question comes to English via French less than 300 years ago. This idea of a zero reflexive pronoun is an interesting one, but I think you'd need a different example to make your point. In that usage of the word, concentrate is an intransitive verb; no one would say "concentrate myself," (at least not in American English) so it would be odd to label the lack of reflexive as a "zero reflexive." I've tried to think of an example where a reflexive is required but sometimes is left out, but I've come up with nothing. Do you have any other examples?

alexander
8/4/2009 8:49:53 AM

@Rob: remember English is a Germanic-based language. Have you ever thought that there could (linguistically speaking) be a ZERO reflexive pronoun at hand. eg. "I concentrate (myself) on the topic at hand." just as there exist ZERO articles?
would love to hear from anyone on this point...

Rob
7/13/2009 8:13:10 PM

@alexander

Sorry, but I have to completely disagree that this is an ESL mistake. This is an error I find all the time in professional environments. It's almost like one of those "hypercorrection" situations, where people use what they think is the "smarter" way of saying something, but make themselves look foolish instead (e.g. "I feel badly"). In fact, my mom, a lifelong secretary, uses this all the time. I've given up on trying to correct her; in her work environment, this probably makes her look more formal, given that the misuse is so widespread. Oddly enough, I even found this same error in an otherwise well-written New York Times article today ("Watching Whales Watching Us"). As for ESL students, I hear the opposite problem quite often: many of my lower-level students fail to use the reflexive when it is needed. I've seldom if ever heard a student overuse the reflexive in this manner (though I have very few German students). Italian students often say "I forget myself," mistakenly applying the Italian grammar in English. This seems to be the type of error you're talking about, but this is an entirely different category of error than Grammar Girl is dealing with. In "I concentrate myself," a reflexive is being introduced when no pronoun is needed whatsoever. The mistake being discussed is the substitution of a reflexive where either an object or subject pronoun is required. This may seem like a superficial difference, but the basis for the two errors is entirely different.

Wilson
6/26/2009 5:14:30 PM

'The quick and dirty tip is to think about how you would write the sentence if you were the only one in it, and then use that pronoun. For example, "Please contact me." '

Sadly, I actually have heard people say, "Please contact myself." Argh.

My question is this: is it INcorrect to use 'me' where 'myself' is correct? As in "I bought me a hamburger."

I dislike the misuse of reflexive pronouns so much that I prefer to use non-reflexive ones 'incorrectly' in protest.

kate
6/26/2009 5:19:35 AM

Nice introduction! Being a freshman in blogging, I read lots of literature as far as what and how to write. http://www.ebook-search-queen.com/ helps me with the books, and your post with inspiration! Thanks!

Gillian
6/19/2009 4:48:30 AM

Several people in my workplace get this wrong, even people who speak English as their first language. It's good to know the correct usage. Great article! I love the Graveyard Book, so I must get the audio book! Thank you for the helpful information!

Holly
6/19/2009 3:43:34 AM

Thank you! I work in an office where most employees have English as a second language (although fluent). I hear "myself" so often that I was starting to think I was the one who was wrong!

alexander
6/13/2009 4:56:01 AM

@ Len: I'd would agree with Tim when he says they're being Formal, but German speakers WILL generally use the reflexive pronoun for those verbs (which in English don't take one), e.g. concentrate, remember, in delivery (v. theory)

alexander
6/13/2009 4:48:25 AM

minion: why is 'myself' under the category of punctuation on your site?

Len
6/13/2009 4:46:07 AM

@ alexander - in my experience, many non-native English speakers have at least as good (if not better and more formal) education in English than people who grew up in the language. It's often native English speakers who make these mistakes.

alexander
6/13/2009 2:14:25 AM

I agree with rpmason; the only people who makes mistakes are non-native speakers (or children-perhaps). No L1 speaker says I concentrate myself on... although I do hear "I remember myself saying that", and the latter is permissible if I may say so.
In German, both are reflexive verbs so where did the pronoun go in CONCENTRATE?

Erica
6/12/2009 2:33:42 PM

Reflexive pronouns are difficult. At work, I often hear "I'm fine, thank you - and yourself?".

rpmason
6/12/2009 2:19:43 PM

I know when to use 'myself, 'me', and 'I'. What irks me is when people *think* you're using something incorrectly and smugly snigger to themselves. Ah well.

Tim
6/12/2009 1:30:23 PM

I know a few people who use "myself" inappropriately on a regular basis. I have asked them on occasion, and they all insist that it is the more formal and correct way to use it. I can only imagine that it is a form of mimicry.

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