What to do When You’ve Been Stood Up

Don't just stand there. Do something!

Trent Armstrong,
January 4, 2010

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Well, it's time to hit the email bag again! Have you ever been stood up without actually being stood up? This situation comes from our friend Karen and her husband who were stood up in exactly that way.

What to do When You’ve Been Stood Up

Karen writes:

Dear Modern Manners Guy,
My husband and I were invited out to happy hour by a friend we hadn't seen in months. When we arrived, we exchanged the customary hugs and kisses and then were introduced to the five other people standing there with her. Not more than five minutes passed and our friend decided to leave the bar area to grab a bite to eat with her other friends. She said, "You don't mind do you?"

She said she would be right out and asked if we would like to join them. We declined and were left standing alone at the bar. We went to another restaurant to eat, and two hours later she texted that she was done. I responded that we had already left, thank you very much. 

Did she check her manners at the door or what? 

A Victim of Bad Manners

Oh, Karen. You guys were victims of total selfishness. If your friend knew there were going to be others joining the festivities, her obligation was to let you know as soon as she knew. That way you and your husband would have time to decide whether you would still join her. At the very least, you could prepare yourselves for the extra company instead of being totally taken off guard by the offense.

How to Handle Being Stood Up

It is more responsible to put your spouse first when dealing with an awkward situation.